LET’S SHARE A POSITIVE PHOTO FROM THE PANDEMIC. HERE’S MINE

LET’S SHARE A POSITIVE PHOTO FROM THE PANDEMIC. HERE’S MINE

I’m in the throes of putting together a show reel of my Virtual MCing.

Yes, it is a little bit later than ideal … but marketing is not my strong point … which is something with which, sadly, my lecturers and tutors at UNSW seemed to agree when I was undertaking my Marketing degree.

I just seem to always find ways to procrastinate when I’m embarking on a major marketing mission.

But, in the process of creating this reel, I was sifting through footage and photos and came across this one … and it immediately made me feel wonderful and warm:

It is a photo, taken in my home studio, of my laptop screen during an online medical conference I was MCing.

On the screen are myself and four people far more skilled and important-to-society than me … highly-qualified medical people, situated around the world, in Australia, the US and Hong Kong.

But they are doing something you don’t see often at serious conferences like medical symposia: they are smiling. Like, REALLY happy. Even a little excited.

Look at them again, closer up:

This photo makes me feel REALLY good? And I feel a little bit guilty about that, because it is a photo that was only possible because of the tragedy of the coronavirus pandemic.

But it is a photo that will serve as a reminder that:

a) In some ways, the pandemic made people think more positively:

Yes, I realise that in future history text books, in the Chapter on The Great Pandemic of the 2020s, we are more likely to see a photo of people fighting over toilet paper than we are of conference speakers smiling, but I want to remember how, in general, people started to become grateful for things they had always taken for granted.

Like (as this photo shows) simply being together, even if it was only in a virtual way.

I strongly suspect that, if these four presenters had gathered at a real-live conference and been asked to be in a photo, they would have smiled … but the sparkle and enthusiasm would not have been at quite the same level.

The pandemic made us grateful for ANYTHING that brought us together. Even things that we had previously found annoying.

In the future, those people studying The Great Pandemic of the 2020s will be SO used to doing so many things in an on-line format that they won’t be able to appreciate how amazing it was that the world adapted to Zoom (and other online platforms) so quickly and comprehensively.

But, the truth is, prior to 2020, for most of us, the prospect of a virtual meeting or an on-line conference was very-much dreaded.

They were clunky. We were thrown by the occasional sound delays and cuts, and the quality of the vision was so sketchy you couldn’t help thinking you were auditioning someone for the Blair Witch Project (look it up, youngsters!).

But when the pandemic hit, we quickly embraced Zoom and all its relatives. We forgave it its faults and focused instead on its amazingness.

And isn’t THAT the best way to approach anything?

Think of the things we MOST complain about on a day-to-day basis … our internet connection … our mobile phone … our car … even our partners!

Why is it we focus on the things that go wrong with them rather than on the amazing things they do the 98% rest of the time??

During the pandemic, we certainly didn’t become perfect as people, but we did get better at appreciating things for a while. And hopefully this photo will always remind me of that.

b) In some ways, the pandemic made it EASIER for people to get together

Prior to the pandemic, the logistics and cost of getting a speaker from Des Moines, Iowa and another from Hong Kong to share a stage with speakers from Australia would be tremendous. Often prohibitive.

But isolation ironically made it easier for geographically dispersed people to come together.

This photo will always remind me that the pandemic made it easier to tap into an entire planet’s worth of talent and knowledge. And we all benefited from that.

Later this year I will be MCing an event in Canada. From my garage. For a client who is situated in the US and has wanted to use me for years but never had the budget to bring me over from Australia.

Who or what has the pandemic made it more possible for you to do?

c) In some ways, the pandemic made people more open to new ideas

The final reason I love this photo and what it represents (and I’ve written about this in previous articles) is that, without the pandemic, I wouldn’t be in that photo.

Prior to the coronavirus, medical conferences very rarely used an MC … but once COVID hit and changed our worlds, I found myself working at quite a few (because they felt that, being new to a virtual format, they could benefit from having an experienced presenter on hand for proceedings).

How many times during the pandemic did you find yourself doing or trying something for the very first time? What would it have taken for you to do it or try it if there had been no pandemic?

Personally, I have become a more regular blogger and much better at creating videos.

Which reminds me. I still have to finish that show reel!

Curse my procrastination!!!

I WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE A PHOTO (WITH A SMALL EXPLANATION) THAT YOU FEEL HIGHLIGHTS A MORE POSITIVE ASPECT OF THE PANDEMIC.

Darren Isenberg is one of Australia’s most booked and re-booked Corporate MC’s and Presenters. He also speaks to groups on how to improve their Positive Influence and the Presentation Skills.

You can learn more about him by heading to www.dipresents.com.au or by asking his kids. But don’t talk to his mother. She still has no idea … but thinks he’s great at what it is anyway.

HOW THE PANDEMIC HELPED MAKE MEDICAL ASSOCIATION CONFERENCES BETTER

I’ve been a professional Master of Ceremonies for over 25 years which means two things:

1. I’m much older than I’m comfortable admitting, and

2. I’ve done lots of events for lots of clients in lots of industries.

Except one.

Prior to the coronavirus pandemic, I had only worked at two medical association events (and one of those was to run a fun quiz over a dinner, rather than MC).

In the past few months, I have added five Medical Associations to my client list.

The message I had repeatedly heard over the years from medical associations was some combination of the following sentiments:

• We have never used an MC before

• We are not interested in using an MC in the future

• The format of our event means there’s really no need.

• Our event is chaired by either the Association President or someone from the organising committee … so they don’t see the need for an MC

• The program is all very technical. An MC wouldn’t be able to add any value

• Our delegates really aren’t the sort of people who would respond well to an MC.

Do you recognise any of these comments from within your association?

I would listen respectfully as I was told these things … and silently think to myself, “But I’ve only MC’d one medical conference … and I saw that almost all those things aren’t true”.

HOW THE PANDEMIC HAS CHANGED THINGS

Then, late last year, I MC’d my first virtual medical conference.

The rise of these (and hybrid) events has seen some associations that would never have considered an MC, are at least realising that it is wise to have an experienced person on board at their event, to engage delegates who, by virtue of their virtual-ness, are surrounded by many distractions.

And an MC is perfectly-placed to play that role (as well as to look after all the live interactions and keep things steady if there are any technical difficulties etc).

As a result, I was engaged as MC for a medical conference, with the specific brief to help keep people engaged while they were going through their very technical and very serious program.

There is great value in providing delegates with a little bit of warmth and personality. With an occasional spot of humour … and an occasional interesting comment as an industry outsider.

If you click on this sentence you can see a brief clip showing how I handed over to the Conference Chair, a highly-esteemed professor after my Conference Welcome.

So, from the get go, everyone was in a more relaxed frame of mind … which is SO much better for learning.

The bottom line is:

Delegates actually enjoy enjoying themselves.

And, as an important flow-on from that:

People who enjoy their learning more, remember their learning more.

SO, WHAT SHOULD ASSOCIATIONS DO?

We need to move past the thinking that says the only enjoyment delegates are allowed at a conference is over a meal.

Given how many more hours they spend in the conference room than they do at their dinners, and how important the information is that they’re wanting to learn whilst they’re in there, surely there should be an emphasis on them enjoying THAT aspect as well?

Our delegates may have the most serious responsibilities, hold the most impressive qualifications, be bound by the most-rigorous standards and have to deal with the most incredible stress … but, in the end, they are all PEOPLE … and people enjoy enjoying themselves …

Even when they’re busy doing serious things like LEARNING.

In fact, ESPECIALLY when they’re doing important things like learning.

Darren Isenberg is one of Australia’s most booked and re-booked Corporate MC’s and Presenters. He also speaks to groups on how to improve their Positive Influence and the Presentation Skills.

 You can learn more about him by heading to www.dipresents.com.au or by asking his kids. But don’t talk to his mother. She still has no idea … but thinks he’s great at what it is anyway.

SMART SEATING PLANS

Live conferences bring people together … in both a physical and emotional sense. That’s why we love them (and have missed them) so much.

But of all the moments that make up a conference, there is none MORE physically together than when the crowds gather at Pre-Dinner Drinks to check the seating list to see who they are going to have to make small-talk with that evening.

Heads are gathered in close proximity and pointed towards the collection of A4 pages that have been stuck to a wall or a board. Necks are craned forward in unison to try decipher the often absurdly small font that has been used.

If ever there is a moment that can turn a super conference into a super spreading event, it is this. So here’s my tip:

For the foreseeable future, print seating plans up in large font and spread them around the Pre-Dinner Drinks area.

Sure, that means people may have to spend much more time walking around to find where they’re going to be sitting … but surely on an evening where you’re going to be eating and drinking more than usual, a little extra light exercise isn’t a bad thing?

And, if you’re looking for some incredibly creative ideas for your future seating plans, I present below some helpful suggestions.

ARRIVALS BOARD

GAME OF THRONES

LEGO THEME

LONDON UNDERGROUND THEME

MONOPOLY THEME

PERIODIC TABLE … OF TABLES

TAKE YOUR SEAT

MR MEN THEME

MATHS THEME

Darren Isenberg is one of Australia’s most booked and re-booked Corporate MC’s and Presenters. He also speaks to groups on how to improve their Positive Influence and the Presentation Skills.

You can learn more about him by heading to www.dipresents.com.au or by asking his kids. But don’t talk to his mother. She still has no idea … but thinks he’s great at what it is anyway.

BEING NOSTALGIC FOR THE OLD NORMAL

Yes … I know that, now that humanity has learned they shouldn’t eat bats, we’re not likely to have the world return to the way it was before, but I’m very excited by two events that are reminders that the New Normal may consist of many things we enjoyed in the past.

Firstly, last week I attended a LIVE networking event … MEA NSW’s 2021 Kick-Off. It was at the Little National Hotel on Clarence Street, which turned out to be an absolute gem of a venue.

But whilst it was great to get out, see a venue and enjoy some very delicious food and drink, it was doubly delightful to be amongst fellow human beings again … just like we used to.

All the wonderful advantages of face-to-face connection came flooding back: the ease of communication, the way it allowed you to cross paths with people you would otherwise not have, the extra depth and dynamism your conversation can be.

Even shaking hands … and looking people in the eye. It really was good for the soul and made me very excited by the fact that more and more live events are being planned.

The other event that has me excited about where we’re at with coronavirus here in Australia is that on Monday, May 10, I’m going to the airport, to catch a plane to Melbourne!

It will be my first flight in about 15 months … my longest stretch of not going to an airport since probably some time in the 1980s!

I’ll have some time for some meetings while I’m there, so will shortly be reaching out to my Melbourne network to see who has time to catch up and talk about how we can make events great again.

But I don’t think I’ve EVER been so excited at the prospect of going through airport security!

I’d love some people to share what evidence THEY’VE seen that makes them smile about our industry’s future.

Darren Isenberg is one of Australia’s most booked and re-booked Corporate MC’s and Presenters. He also speaks to groups on how to improve their Positive Influence and the Presentation Skills.

You can learn more about him by heading to www.dipresents.com.au or by asking his kids. But don’t talk to his mother. She still has no idea … but thinks he’s great at what it is anyway.

A PANDEMIC SILVER LINING

A PANDEMIC SILVER LINING

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THINK BUSINESS EVENTS

I don’t normally use an entire blog to praise one particular PCO (as I know many worthy of praise), but I truly think there is something important to be learned from my experience with Think Business Events, a PCO that has been responsible for a significant percentage of my work during the pandemic.

Naturally, I am hugely thankful to Denise Broeren and Kim Stevenson for helping me be able to feed my family … but I am ESPECIALLY grateful to them because they have taught me a couple of very important lessons about the event industry.

I think they’re lessons that others would appreciate also, so here they are:

LESSON 1:

MARKETING IS A LOOOOONG GAME

Prior to October last year, I had never worked with Think Business Events.

But, since then, they have been so wonderful to deal with … and given me the right balance of guidance, freedom and trust so that I can deliver to the end client … that we are now heading towards partnering on our fourth event.

Interestingly, they had been on my database for over ten years … and every time I sent them a piece of my marketing, I wondered (like I do with many on my database) whether anyone there ever read what I’d written.

But I persisted because … well … I figured, if they hadn’t asked to unsubscribe, there was always a small chance something might eventuate.

So, when they emailed seemingly out of the blue late last year, it was not only a delightful surprise, but it importantly renewed my faith in the marketing process.

And in being patient!

I don’t want EVERY new relationship to take over a decade to form … but sometimes they do. And when that happens, it is always worth the wait.

LESSON 2:

THE SPEAKERS AND DELEGATES AT MEDICAL CONFERENCES DO APPRECIATE HAVING AN MC AT THEIR EVENTS

I’ve been a corporate MC for over 25 years which means two things:

1. I’m much older than I’m comfortable admitting, and

2. I’ve done lots of events for lots of clients in lots of industries.

Except one.

In all this time I have only worked at two medical association events.

And one of them wasn’t even to act as an MC. It was to design and run a Trivia Quiz for the Urological Society of Australia at a conference dinner.

The other was to MC a conference of Dental Surgeons … an event in which, despite warnings from the Organisers about how boring dental audiences are, I had the delegates laughing and cheering and even one of the international professors who was speaking arrived on stage singing and dancing to the music I had organised to play as their sting.

The photo to the right is me thanking him after his SECOND conference presentation, the next day, in which he was so inspired by the previous day’s reception, he decided to lead us all in a rendition of ‘Waltzing Matilda’ at the end of his presentation!

The message I’ve repeatedly heard over the years from PCOs whose client base is largely medical associations was some combination of the following sentiments:

REASONS PCO’S GIVE FOR NOT CONSIDERING AN MC FOR THEIR MEDICAL ASSOCIATION CLIENTS

• Our clients have never used an MC before

• Our clients are not interested in using an MC in the future

• The format of the event means there’s really no need.

• The event is chaired by either the Association President or someone from the organising committee … so they don’t see the need for an MC

• The program is all very technical. An MC wouldn’t be able to add any value

• (And, most gratingly of all) Our delegates really aren’t the sort of people who would respond well to an MC.

I would listen respectfully as I was told this … and silently think to myself, “But I’ve only MC’d one medical conference … and already I saw that almost all those things aren’t true”.

I have spent decades wondering why many people feel that the only enjoyment delegates in some industries (like medicine, accounting and engineering) are allowed at their conference is over a meal.

Given how many more hours they spend in the conference room than they do at their dinners, and how important the information is that they’re wanting to learn whilst they’re in there, surely there should be an emphasis on them enjoying THAT aspect as well?

Then along came the pandemic and Think Business Events realised that, if their clients were going to confidently navigate their first virtual conference experience, the solution could lay in having an MC involved.

Now, I’m not sure what made them turn to ME, specifically. Perhaps it was the fact that, with my middle name beginning with ‘R’, my name came up in their search as DR ISENBERG.

I’m certainly hoping it’s NOT because the client was the Association for Surgeons who specialise in surgery on the morbidly obese.

But, however, it happened, I was delighted to see there was a recognition of some of the value that an MC can deliver at an event.

Anyway, long story short, here’s what I learned (for the second time):

It turns out that delegates at medical conferences are … wait for it … PEOPLE … and people enjoy enjoying themselves.

Even when they’re busy doing serious things like LEARNING.

In fact, ESPECIALLY when they’re doing important things like learning.

I’m really glad I got another opportunity to see whether an MC could have a place at a medical conference.

I’m also glad that Think Business Events were rewarded for their openness to using an MC. The clients whose events we have worked together on must be thankful Think Business Events were able to go ‘outside the box’ to add in something refreshing and effective. That’s got to help make them more loyal clients … more confident in and trusting of TBE’s ideas and suggestion in the future.

And I hope that one or two people reading this are inspired to pluck up the courage and suggest to their clients (be they medical industry or not) what they know is going to be good for the delegates, even if it goes against what the client is suggesting.

Darren Isenberg is one of Australia’s most booked and re-booked Corporate MC’s and Presenters. He also speaks to groups on how to improve their Positive Influence and the Presentation Skills.

You can learn more about him by heading to www.dipresents.com.au or by asking his kids. But don’t talk to his mother. She still has no idea … but thinks he’s great at what it is anyway.

THE POWER OF SHARING THE POSITIVE

As an MC and speaker, I rely on PCOs kindly recommending me to their clients to get work. Unfortunately, it is rare for it to work the other way around, as the PCO is always appointed to an event before someone like me is brought non board.

As a result, I do feel guilty that I don’t get to be as helpful to others in the industry as they are to me.

However, a couple of weeks ago, I was absolutely thrilled to have potentially played a role in providing work for someone who has been a generous provider of work to me.

I would like to share briefly how it happened … because one of the lessons I think that can be learned from it is that sharing positive news has the potential for wonderful (and sometimes surprising) flow-on effects.

So I wouldn’t be heeding my own lesson if I didn’t share this with you. So … here goes:

GRIN & TONIC REELS 2023: Jul - Dec

When the world turned negative last year, I made a decision to consciously try and promote positive things to the industry. To be a source of a smile now-and-then.

Hence my weekly Grin & Tonic reels (click on the link to the right to gain access to the entire collection) ……

MC'ING IN THE AGE OF SELF-ISOLATION

… the short film I made with my kids about being an MC During Isolation (there’s a link to the right, if you’d like to see that)

… and my Positive Post e-newsletter.

With that in mind, a few weeks’ ago I gave a Shout-Out on LinkedIn to Ruth Hirst and the sensational staff at Synergy Effect, who run a mind-blowingly awesome virtual conference platform called e:volve (to see some of the amazing sets and capabilities, check out the highlights Synergy put together of an event I MC’d for them which used it by clicking here: https://youtu.be/FIkP_RBUmpE ).

I knew about e:volve because Ruth had asked me to MC some of the demonstration reels they were making (and I’m always happy to help PCOs out gratis for projects like that).

Anyway, my Shout-Out was seen by another wonderful PCO, who made contact with Ruth and there is now a strong possibility that they will be collaborating on a future project, using the e:volve system.

It was a wonderfully refreshing feeling to be facilitating a business opportunity for someone else, rather than being the one receiving the benefits.

So, what’s my point?

As I mentioned earlier, the side-effects of speaking positively about people in your network are unknown. They could be anything from inconsequential to quite significant. You NEVER know in advance.

But, if you are NOT spreading good vibes about others, you DEFINITELY know that there are no potential benefits.

So, let’s get to work helping each other get to work. Tell your network about the great services you’ve encountered within your network.

I can tell you from personal experience, it will not only make the people you’re talking about feel good … but you get a quality buzz from playing a role in other people’s successes.

Darren Isenberg is one of Australia’s most booked and re-booked Corporate MC’s and Presenters. He also speaks to groups on how to improve their Positive Influence and the Presentation Skills.

You can learn more about him by heading to www.dipresents.com.au or by asking his kids.

THE 30 CONFERENCE STATISTICS YOU 100% NEED TO KNOW

I love statistics.

Which is a surprise because, at school, my statistics teacher told me I was average which, when you think about it, was mean.

Thank you. A little maths joke, there.

Also, as far as my work is concerned, I’m a words kind of guy but whilst it IS true that 43.7% of all statistics are simply made up on the spot, they also can illuminate … and illustrate … and instigate intriguing conversations.

So I present below a series of conference and event related statistics which I hope will illuminate, illustrate and instigate intriguing conversations.

Despite the fact that they fall within the 43.7%.

Enjoy. There’s a 94.3% chance that you will.

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0

The percentage chance delegates are listening to what a speaker is saying when they put up a PowerPoint slide with eight new bullet-points on it.

Also, the percentage chance delegates are listening to what a speaker is saying when they put up a PowerPoint slide with long paragraphs of content on them.

Also, the percentage chance delegates are listening to what a speaker is saying when they put up a PowerPoint slide with a very large and detailed table, graph or flow-chart saying, “You probably can’t read this up the back”.

Also, the percentage chance delegates are listening to what a speaker is saying when they put up a PowerPoint slide and read its contents word-for-word.

Also, the percentage chance  … You get my drift? PowerPoint is a fabulous presentation tool … but when it is misused it can be an almost total distraction.

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0.001

The percentage chance at a networking function that the NEXT glass of wine will be the one that makes you charming enough to make some fantastic new business contacts.

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1

The number of people at a conference that are delighted when they see all the PowerPoint slides have used the same template.

That one person would be either the Brand Manager or the Marketing Manager. Everyone else will simply be frustrated at how boringly similar all the slides are looking.

Seriously, if your brand is SO unmemorable that you feel you need to remind an audience what it is on EVERY single slide, then it’s not a template you are needing.

If you truly want people to learn at your conference you’ll certainly understand the value of visual variety on the big screen.

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2

The average number of presentations at a conference in which the presenter will refer to the Charles Darwin quote: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, not the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change”.

Yes, there is a certain irony in people using the same 160-year-old quote to illustrate how important change is to surviving.

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3

The number of people on any conference committee of six or more people who are either superfluous or slowing your decision-making down. Identify these people and remove them.

ALSO, the number of conference delegates still posting photos on the Conference App’s Social Feed on Day Three of any conference.

ALSO, the seemingly industry-standard number of cocktail tables per 100 conference delegates in an Exhibition Hall or Ballroom Lobby  that are available to eat at AND place dirty plates on during a conference lunch.

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4

The maximum number of people you should have on a panel session at a conference.

Related Statistics:

10 – minimum minutes per panelist you should have for a panel. This doesn’t mean each panelist should speak for 10 minutes [see below for why not]. It simply means, if you have three people on a panel, have it run for at least 30 minutes to allow enough input from each person.

0 – the maximum number of minutes a panelist should be allowed to give a presentation in. The beauty and benefit of a panel is that it gives delegates a break from listening to presentations. Asking panelists to present for even five or ten minutes each turns a panel into a series of presentations … which was the very thing the panel was trying to avoid.

Yes ... one of my biggest conference bugbears is the rampant misuse of the word 'panel'!

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5

The number of people, usually lonely middle-aged to older gentlemen, who suss out where in the pre-dinner drinks area the finger-food trays are entering from and plant themselves there.

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6

The average number of hours per day a conference delegate is inside a conference room listening to someone speak. Importantly, this is more than the average number of hours per day a conference delegate spends at a conference meal.

So why does it seem way more time, effort and resources are devoted to ensuring the high quality of what is being served at meals?

Things like the presentation skills of your speakers, the professionalism of your MC, the technical prowess of your AV team … these all determine the quality of what is being served INSIDE the conference room … and they should be at least as important to your event as the choice of menu, wine and banquet room decorations.

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7

The percentage of amazing things shown in a “Next Year’s Conference Destination” video that the delegates will get to see when they attend the actual conference the next year.

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8

The percentage of time in a conference buffet line you will arrive at the bain-marie to find just two satay sticks in it (which happens to be exactly the number you were wanting to eat) ... and now you have to quickly decide whether you take both and satisfy yourself, or just one, enabling the person behind to have one as well ... and then you realise that if you do that, the person behind won't be aware that you really wanted two and therefore won't appreciate how nice an act you were performing ... and, hey! ... who are they to jump to such conclusions about how selfless or not you have been??!! ... Damn them! ... Why don't you just have the last two and Mr Quick-To-Judge behind you can just make do with none! Hah! There. You now have your two satay sticks and are off to find a place to sit ... but let's take one last, smug look back at Mr No Satay Sticks as you go and ... Wait! Wha?? ... Is that a whole NEW tray of fresh satay sticks that has just arrived??? Damn! Cos you'd REALLY wanted three.

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9

The percentage of time a sponsor video, shown as part of a sponsor’s presentation or as a “Welcome Back To The Conference Room” video, helps enhance a sponsor’s message.

Just in case this point is unclear, that is a VERY poor return on time. Discourage sponsors from showing their promo videos. They usually make their sponsor spot run over time, they repeat things the sponsor already said and no-one watches them anyway.

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10

The average number of centimetres MORE THAN is ideal that a conference presenter stands away from a lectern microphone. Curiously, this number INCREASES as the number of decibels the speaker emits DECREASES.

It can also work in reverse, where the closer to the microphone the speaker's mouth is, the more they tend to shout.

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11

Maximum number of words that should be allowed in any conference presentation title. Any more than that and it can be argued that reading the title IS a conference presentation.

The same word-limit should apply to Speaker’s Job Titles. And it should always be remembered that, the more words in your job title, the less chance you understand what it is you do.

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12

The percentage of speakers at conferences who, when stepping up to a lectern with two microphones attached to it, peels one to the side for them to talk directly into.

Related Statistic:

100 – the percentage of AV staff who grimace when that happens.

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14

The percentage chance at least one Acceptance Speech at an awards night forgets to mention someone really, really important.

This number increases by 5% for each hour later in the program you get.

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16

The percentage of any given conference break that a delegate spends in queues.

This percentage zooms to 74% if they are queuing for a barista-made coffee.

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22

The percentage of time a video piece fails to play (or plays without sound) at a critical time in a conference program.

Curiously, this increases to 43% if a rehearsal was held minutes earlier where everything worked well.

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25

The percentage of Name Tags hung on lanyards with a single clasp that will be hanging blank-face forward at any one time.

Related statistic:

83 - The percentage of times this will happen when you are talking to someone whose name you know you know but can’t remember at that moment.

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27

The percentage of conference delegates that ask for special dietary requirements who actually medically need special dietary requirements.

The rest of you, come on, be honest. Ten years’ ago you thought ‘Gluten’ was the name of the President of Russia.

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28

The percentage chance of something spilling on your top during the Morning Tea, Afternoon Tea or Lunch break.

This increases to 63% if you are speaking directly after the break.

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34

The percentage of exhibitors at any event who complain that they are disappointed with the amount of foot traffic their exhibition booth attracted.

Related Statistic:

100 – the percentage of these exhibition booths that featured at least two of the following:

• a brochure stand

• a high-table with business cards, some old branded stress balls and a jar of Cadbury’s favourites

• a human catching up on their emails.

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41

The percentage chance that the one spelling mistake in 700 name badges or in the 60-page conference handbook is the name of the major sponsor, the CEO or the delegate who suffered from the one spelling mistake made at LAST year’s event.

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46

The percentage of conference delegates who volunteer to ask the first question in a Q&A Session that have a thick accent of some sort.

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49

The percentage of delegates in ANY conference group who are, by definition, below average. Keep that in mind when preparing your presentations.

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57

The percentage chance that a Politician who has been booked to deliver a speech at your conference, will be a last-minute no-show.  This rises to 67% if they are in Cabinet.

And 100% if they haven't checked their naturalisation papers thoroughly.

The chance that they will be forced to resign within 12 months of speaking at your event is 16%.

The chance of a politician saying anything that actually matters in real life … 4%.

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63

The percentage of all delegates who, when entering the conference room and encountering a completely empty row of seats, will plop themselves down on the aisle one, forming a human barricade that makes the seating process take twice the time it otherwise should.

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74

The percentage of all conference speakers who, when their PowerPoint slide doesn’t advance as expected, will hit the advance button on the remote clicker seven times in panic, taking the delegates on an express journey to their Thank-You Slide.

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78

The percentage of sponsor presentations at a conference that, through their being poorly-delivered or simply uninteresting to listen to, actually diminish the value of the sponsor’s brand.

Hey, sponsors! I’m not good at tinkering with things under the hood of my car, so I don’t do it because it will just make a bigger mess. If you’re not good at presenting to a conference audience, don’t do it either.

There are many ways to gain great recognition as a sponsor. Showing people that you aren't a good presenter is definitely not one of them.

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97

The percentage of things you're told at a conference by a speaker, AV person, client or venue person that will “Take just five minutes” that take longer than just five minutes.

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110

The percentage of the above statistics that were made up by me (but I assure you, they are probably not that far off the mark).

If you have any more you'd like to add, please feel free to send them through.

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Darren Isenberg is one of Australia’s best-loved Corporate MC’s and Speakers.

Check out his website at www.dipresents.com.au